Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Looking for alibrandi - point of veiw (michael)

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Andretti's Point of View


To begin with the idea of a daughter was cumbersome and not something I wanted in my life.It would just slow me down and both Christina and Josie would get in the way.I had never even met the girl, she was my daughter…and I've never met her… wait, she IS my daughter and I've never really met her.Slowly I began to come round to the idea that maybe there was room for some compromise.I finally met my daughter Josie.Then wished I hadn't.She blew up for no particular reason, she just did.It seemed that she had bottled up arguments that her mother should have been using or even her Nonna.They didn't seem right coming from a 17 year old girl.


Something I fought hard to escape is the traditional Italian way of life. It is so binding, so constricting, so family and I needed to be able to think for myself.To do things for myself. I never saw myself coming back here.Everything I'd worked for to try and leave will now be thrown back at me in an attempt to push me into the family I left 17 years ago. I don't like the idea at all.It's the whole family aspect of it.Everyone knowing everyone and every move you make. Nothing you do, say or think can be private.Your own is now everyone else's.However be that as it may I still felt a moral obligation to at least meet my daughter and the woman she has become.


There is another thing.I fought hard to escape the illegitimacy of my relationship with Christina and the outcome.. Josie.Everyone in town knew it, no one in town liked it.It was just an accepted fact.I remember my relationship with Christina and wonder where it went wrong.I know I had to go away, she knew I had to go away, yet now as I come back it is like I'm a total stranger who is carrying a black shadow around like a brand.Everyone looks at me differently since I've been back.Its like I'm a different person to what I was then, maybe I am, maybe I have changed. Someone can't change that much though.I mean I still am Michael Andretti but maybe not the young one they knew then.When I went away I left behind someone who loved me and a daughter I didn't know about.This posed a big problem when coming back.I knew moving back into the neighbourhood wouldn't be easy no matter how hard I tried.


I must admit though, even though my first encounters with Josie were confronting and dealt with most of the issues I had been thinking about and no doubt she had too, after the first big hurdle I saw a glimmer of hope and maybe just maybe this could work.She is only 17 and I understand how she feels, maybe I can help, I can empathise with her.Technically I am her father, emotionally I've got to learn how to deal with this.


I'm willing to change although I'm not really sure if Josie and Christina will.I want them to give me a chance, I want to be there for them when they need me. I truly do love Josie, more than she thinks. Perhaps we can all be a family again, perhaps not, but whatever happens I'm going to give it my best.Now that I know Josie, I don't want to lose her.She is my family.


Clayton McKinnon


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