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What does it mean to be assertive? According to Clare Lindsay, professional counselor and author of Conquering Anorexia, you should look out for your own personal rights, needs, and responsibilities.Another important aspect is to treat others as "equals".Be fair and learn to say "No" when requests are not possible.Being assertive can lead to a variety of positive influences in your life.People can enjoy a "pleasant working environment, boost their self-esteem, build confidence, and lower stress".Some helpful ideas to remember when asserting yourself include telling the person how you feel about something, and recognize that your feelings are genuinely yours. (Lindsay, 001).
There are many different types of people in the world.Some are easier to get along with than others.People can be argumentative, resort to name-calling, and act more superior to achieve what they want done.It is up to you to take responsibility for your own feelings.Getting angry doesn't solve anything.You should take the time to discuss with the other individual what is bothering you.Understand that this person also has rights and you should respect those as well as yourself.People will not always get along, but talking it out and using "I" statements will show ownership of the feelings you have toward a situation.When speaking to the person you should also "pay attention to your tone of voice and body language".This is very important.You must make eye contact and make your words understandable (Kowalski, 18).
At some point or another, everyone has been in a situation where you don't want to do something that someone has asked of you.In these moments, you should not let another person make you feel obligated to do something.The best way to get results that will satisfy you would include standing up for your rights.There are a few things to remember when trying to "stand up for yourself." First you should decide whether it would benefit you or not to complete the task at hand.Don't be worried what others think of you once your decision is made.Reference to the person that you've heard what they have asked and the reason you declined their request is because of "you, not them".Another aspect would be to "stand firm". Make sure you are clear on what you say in your response.Don't let people persuade you to change your answer.If the situation becomes unbearable and will eventually change your decision, you must remove yourself entirely.Being in charge of your life is very important in achieving successful assertive communication (Weiskopf, 18).
Many things can be solved without "raising your voice".You need to bring attention to something that is bothering you.It isn't healthy to keep quiet about things that cause you distress or conflict.Some tips to making a situation or environment calm and not hostile would be to "verbalize the problem; stay calm; stick to the facts; and say it again".It helps for the other person to know you are upset.Remaining cool and collected will usually result in a pleasant response."Blame" can cause difficulty in coming up with a resolution to a situation.If you have to repeat something, do so.By only saying it once, this could result in not being heard the first time, and will not resolve your problem (Cornell, 185).
Another way to know you are asserting yourself would be to recognize four different skills of assertiveness.There are basic, empathic, escalating, and I-language assertion.Each of these areas can help once you've determined that you need to be assertive."Basic Assertion" is an easy way to explain what you believe in, and state the way you feel about something."Empathic Assertion" shows that you have some compassion toward people.When using this type of assertion you should acknowledge the "other person's situation or feelings" and then let them know how you feel about it.The third type of skill, "Escalating Assertion", usually presents itself when nothing is happening with the other party involved.Your assertion builds up and you must remain solid in the end.You may have to say that there will be something consequential happening with no results from your assertiveness.For example, "If you don't stop your disrupting behavior in my classroom, I will be required to contact your parents." Lastly, there is "I-Language Assertion".This is very helpful when you want to "express negative feelings." There are sections to make this effective.Make sure that you explain what is happening with the behavior.Then tell how it involves you.Finally, explain the outcome you would like to see as a result.It is important when beginning to assert yourself that you remain focused.Keep following these rules and try them every chance you get.With time you should be able to master situations as they present themselves.You can apply this knowledge with people you are close to.Make sure to clue them in on what is going to happen first. (Counseling & Mental Health Center).
Everyone has rights.When people don't want to give and take they drop those individual rights.People can lose sight of a situation and they will act aggressively or passive.When situations are not handled in an assertive manner, not everyone will be happy with the outcome.(Messina)
Have you ever wondered if there are certain things that lead to "nonassertive behavior"? There are actually "six myths" that promote this type of behavior.These myths are about "Anxiety, Modesty, Good Friend, Obligation, Gender Role, and Strength of an issue".With "Anxiety", people believe that being anxious about something will generally result in a negative interaction.People think that if you are anxious you are more likely to be a failure.You could feel used, walked over, and picked on.When looking at the "Modesty" myth, it usually taps into three areas.You might not have the capability to think you have good qualities.You might not look at yourself in a positive way.Generally, you don't accept that others will say good things about you.Also, you don't praise others.People believe that if you don't believe in yourself, why should you expect others to? When you are not able to accept compliments this can damage your sense of worth.People can also turn good wishes into a controlling situation.Someone may honor you for a good quality.Before you know it, a favor is being asked of you that relates to that good quality.Some individuals just cannot give kudos to others.People might not be aware of the good things that can come from this.Maybe people cannot do this because of a lack of compliments in their life.The "Good Friend" myth suggests that you automatically think someone else knows how you feel about something.Often times this will leave relationships among friends in state of devastation.The "Obligation" myth means that people put others first before themselves.They feel it is necessary to neglect what they need in order to please others.The "Gender Role" myths occur when men and women act a certain way.Women are more likely to accept requests even if they aren't sensible.According to Breitman & Hatch, women tend to be the ones who think it is their job to take care of everything.Why do women feel compelled to take on such responsibility? Men are more likely to take on a forceful attitude.This usually results in men needing to be in control of the situation.The "Strength of an issue" myth can cause people to not put themselves in danger.They don't want to take the risk of being left out.(Counseling & Mental Health Center)
Saying "No" is a very "powerful" word.When saying "No", you should keep it short and sweet.No explanations are needed.People don't have the right to violate your own privacy.Saying "No" is healthy because it leaves more room for things that you enjoy.Sometimes you need to say "No" while you are on the job.Too much can burn you out fast. Many times we are much too hard on ourselves.We start a job assuming so much is expected of us.What it really boils down to is that we are too hard on ourselves.Saying "No" to things that take a lot of our time can be healthy and we should do everything we can to be assertive and minimize stress (Breitman & Hatch, 000).
WORKS CITED
Lindsay, Clare."Being assertive." Student BMJ July 001 p
Kowalski, Kathiann."How to Assert Yourself." Current Health, a Weekly Reader publication
December 18 v5 i4 p1 (1)
Wesikopf, Catherine."How to Stand Up for Yourself." Current Health, a Weekly Reader publication January 18 v4 n5 p1 ()
Cornell, Dixie."How to talk back without raising your voice." RN March 185 v48 p1 ()
Messina, PhD, James and Constance Messina, Ph.D. "Improving Assertive Behavior." Tools for Coping with Life's Stressors http//www.coping.org/relations/assert.htm.
"Learning To Be Assertive." Counseling & Mental Health Center The University of Texas at Austin.http//www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/assert/assertive.html.
Breitman, Patti, and Connie Hatch.How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty.New York Broadway Books (a division of Random House, Inc.), 000.Please note that this sample paper on Research on Assertive Behavior is for your review only. In order to eliminate any of the plagiarism issues, it is highly recommended that you do not use it for you own writing purposes. In case you experience difficulties with writing a well structured and accurately composed paper on Research on Assertive Behavior, we are here to assist you.Your college papers on Research on Assertive Behavior will be written from scratch, so you do not have to worry about its originality.
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